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♥Sunday, December 24, 2006


its so early tis mornin..haven slp at al yet..juz finish pei my bro onli..haiz..hmm..let mi blog abt ytd ba..hmm..ytd mornin was chattin wif frenz in msn so i was late n had to rush down to cc le..dey r leavin soon le..my taman jurong cc's lion n dragon dances troupe r goin e cathay buildin to perform for e grand openin of our coaches' restaurant..it is located at e basement of e cathay buildin..its called "The Indulge"..e food dere damn nice bt kinda ex..bt its worth it de..frenz of mine, feel free to go dere try..hehex..hmm..upon rch e cathay buildin, we started performin..after tt, eatin starts..dere's lotx n lotx of ppl ard n lotx of buffets too..e food dere is damn nice..hehex..oh ya..i was veri shock to c ah jie(vanessa), da jie(amelia), eunice n shauna ard too..same goes for dem..veri coincidence rite?? lolx.. it happen tt ah jie's uncle is oso one of e shareholders of e restaurant too..hmm..i had sm chat wif dem as its been a while since i saw dem le..da jie oso started to ask thinz between mi n tt bastard..i told her, i quarrel wif him again le n tis time everythin is definitely over between mi n him le..i told dem e whole story, between mi, him n chen yang..even dem oso dislike chen yang too..wad to sae..da jie tries to help tt bastard speak, bt i reply her tt i hav alreadi tolerated him for few yrs le..u cant expect mi to cont toleratin..am i rite?? after hearin, da jie oso nod her head too..she oso understands hw i feel..i alreadi had enough of him le..b it if he's my ex or wad..i'm reali gonna erase those memories away frm my mind..al of dem r real hurtful..dere's nth between mi n him at al..haiz.. :( after everythin, went bk to cc n change den i rush down to westmal arcade find wen loong, nic, vincent, jun hao n ming hong le..played 2 games of pool wif wen loong before leavin for zhong hwee's hse..mi n wen loong each won once..lolx..equal..haha..i oso brought 4 movies vcds to go zhong hwee's hse watch tis few daes..todae alreadi watch finish one le..hehex..hmm..onli wen loong n i go zhong hwee's hse onli coz e rest gt sth on or go hm..oh ya..while mi n wen loong on our way walkin to zhong hwee's hse, wen loong gt freak out by a big pet dog..lolx..he's afraid of dogs..bt he's so funni man..i c le, kp laughin non stop n kp jumpin ard too..lolx.. wen loong's gonna kil mi if he read tis..lolx.. ;p aniwae we go zhong hwee's hse oso help him fix his vcd player n hm theatre sound system le..lolx..hehex..we veri clever hor?? haha.. :P after watchin e movie, we left zhong hwee's hse..both of us wana go hm early..oh ya..ytd mornin i chat wif zhe bin in msn quite a while..he's gonna brin mi go fishin after he cm bk frm bikin at malaysia n thailand..hehex..i'm lookin forward to tt dae..coz i nv fish before at al..haiz.. :( always wanted to fish bt dun hav e chance n oso no one brin mi go..hmm..rch hm le, i ask big alvin for zhan yang no. coz i wana ask him n alvin lee dey al go out todae..i msg zhan yang to ask him abt todae n oso at e same time ask him for alvin lee's no. n he cal mi bk..i wana ask him n e rest out todae bt he kp sayin tt i wana ask alvin lee out jiu dui le..wad e..i reali dun mean tt lo..haiz.. :( i reali is wana ask u al out de..i muz reali clear e misunderstandin between mi n alvin lee..dere's reali nth frm mi to him la..i dun tink i like him ba..n as i hav said, he deserves much more beta galz than mi..mi n him, i'm juz like a thorn on a ((rose))-->alvin lee..as compared to other galz who suits him more, i'm juz a tiny little rubbish..mi n him, forgt it, impossible de..understand?? i luv tt pic wif him veri much is coz i find it veri nice..tt's al..no other intention..okay?? haiz..aniwae zhan yang n alvin lee workin tml..frm 12 to 9..den i was tinkin of askin dem out to pub or sth after their work..i msg alvin lee n ask him abt it le..he wil confirm wif mi later todae..hopefully is can coz i dun wana spend my countdown for christmas alone..furthermore its my first time celebratin christmas tis yr..haiz..bt before tt, i'm meetin wen loong dey al at 4 later todae to go orchard walk walk..mayb before tt go queensway first..to drop by n visit zhan yang n alvin lee durin their work..hehex..go ka jiao dem..haha.. ;p

hmm..juz nw suddenly rmb of my past..of most of my exs..was tinkin y al end up veri bad..haiz..none of dem work out wel..sm even played my feelins..ya..ppl can sae i'm desperate for stead..bt when u r in my shoes, u cm frm a chaotic, ful of violence n quarrelins, uneasiness n no freedom at hm, in financial disaster, scattered fam, u wil noe hw i feel..i've gt 3 elder bros..eldest, mentally sick..stays at hm al e time..nd mi company n take care of..main source of e fam becmin tis bad..sec eldest, move out of hse le..third eldest, on e plannin of movin out too..both coz cant stand e situation of e fam..i juz gt so angry wif dem..one by one leavin mi..wad is tis?? such a selfish act..we r a fam, arent we?? arent we suppose to solve thinz altogether as a fam?? my daddy kena sued n declared bankrupt few yrs ago..nt in a gd terms wif him eva since a real big quarrel few yrs ago..i oso dislike him coz of his stubborness, stupid temper n etc..my mummy, e fam's bread-winner..works nite shift every nite, everydae OT..health deterioratin..hw much longer can my mummy hold on?? hw much longer can tis fam hold on?? can smbodi tel mi?? sec n third bros strugglin wif their own financial probz too..nt givin mummy much money..hw much luv can i gt frm tis fam when its so messed up?? tt is y i tend to look for luv outside my fam..smone to luv mi, pamper mi, care for mi, b dere for mi, fill my world wif colours, take care of mi......bt y izit so hard?? wheneva i tot tt i had alreadi found one, it turns out otherwise..wad is tis?? y is my life bein fooled n played ard wif?? y muz i encounter so much since young til nw?? hw much longer can i take it?? wil dere b a third time tt i attempt suicide?? is tt reali veri hard to find smone to luv mi?? Y Y Y??? Y MUZ ALL TIS HAPPEN TO MI!?! when i find smone tt i luv n i tot he luv mi too, i gave my whole heart to him..my whole life instead..hopin he can make mi happi..take care of mi n protect mi wif al his might..hopin we wil last long, last foreva, last til we gt married n grow old n it always end up a tragedy..my bf givin mi sense of security is veri important to mi..ya..i'm naive n like to dream..fine..tink i beta giv myself one tight slap to wake up.. :'( MY LIFE SUX E HELL OUT OF EVERYTHIN!!!

(@^_^@)pinkie_joey(@^_^@)

♥RumikoLoves
5:59 AM