♥Friday, June 29, 2007

Today is my first lesson for my new IS module..Stupid module it is..Report Writing..Super sian..Omg..My original classmates, Siew Fong, Rachel and Yena are in this class as me too..My previous classmates from Comtemporary Issues are also back too..3/4 of them I guess..So mostly are known already..Saw Yi Zhen too..Haha..So qiao..Then me, Yi Zhen, Pei Yuan and one new Burmese girl, Su Wai formed a group..

IS is from 1pm to 5pm..After that I went to godparents there eat porridge again..Then went to their house stay over tonight..Which is where I am now..Haha..Came here saw my forever love, Xiao Bai, I felt much more better..He simply brightens up my day..Love him so so much..Took lots of photos of him just now..Haha..He's a shy animal..LoL..But absolutely a cute, playful and sweet dog! =) One who never stops eating, licking and playing..Aiyo..Really cant stand him..Sometimes irritating..Haiz..

Oh ya..William, my Kbox colleague called me today..He asked me to go to his chalet along with his friends and some other Kbox colleagues next Friday night..Drink liquor, play etc..At first I thought I cant cause I already promise Wen Loong, Da pian, Zhong Hwee they all to go Marina eat Steamboat with them then go Hwee's house stay over and play as usual..But William mentioned that he's going NS soon..Zhi Cong, my another Kbox colleague is booking in a few days after the chalet ends..I feel that if I don't join them, I will feel bad about it..and I did previously promise William that if there's any farewell party or sth for him before he book in, I confirm go de..Haiz..Frustrated now..Think I join Loong they all for steamboat only ba..Then I go join William they all for staying over at the chalet..Think Loong will understand de..Hope so..Haiz..

Hmm..Initially tml going out with Jason, Bing Huang and Steven de..But Steven got sth on so we postpone to next next Saturday le..Really looking forward to going out with them..Especially Jason..Hehe..Cause going out with them let me feel very happy and worries-free..Jason always brings me to nice places..Seletar, Johore etc etc..Hehe..SELETAR IS MY FAVOURITE PLACE!!! Hehe..and of course with transport provided..Haha..Either his bike or his sister's car..Yup..I spent my first illegal and secret trip to Malaysia with them at one very night..Opz! :x Shhh..dont tell anyone hor..LoL..I'm like so fully packed by friends every weekend..LoL..My friends always complain say want date me out very hard cause really need make appointment very early..Haha.. ;P

Haiz..Once school starts..Lots of projects and assignments start piling..OOAD got 2 practicals and 1 assignment got to rush..DB got 1 practical need rush..eBF got assignment and project..Today additional one more liao..Report Writing..Got one 6 weeks report and research got to do..Omg!!! I'm really going insane le la! Aiyo..Projects, assignments and practicals are all poisonous stuffs that will kill!!! Haiz..LoL..

Tonight MOS got party..My friends ask me along but I dont want..Dont know why..I just dont feel like going clubbing nowadays..I've rejected quite a few friends from a few parties ever since my first clubbing ZOUK night that time..

Just now I saw the weight scale in the house and I went to have my weight done..47kg..Am I overweight? I know I'm fat..So I'm wondering if I'm overweight too..Hmm..The very last time I measured my height last year is 155cm..I wonder did I grow any taller or I grew shorter..Hmm........

♥RumikoLoves
11:51 PM

♥Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Don't know why.....I can only feel sorrows in my heart and soul now...I'm so down..depressed..miserable.....Really hoping that I've got a BF now.....to love me..teng me..care for me..be there for me..lighten up my life.....This life of mine is too pathetic for me to move on......Really feel like dying......Find my life too dreadful to move on.......Home Sweet Home? BULLSHIT! Home=Hell...What the hell is going on with me?!?! Am I not a cheerful girl?!?!?! All my mind can think of now is to take a pen-knife and cut my wrist again, like what I did few years ago......Omg! How can I think of such a childish act?! What is wrong with me???

I'm just like a rubbish...Being dumped into the dustbin by guys...What have I done wrong??? Friends say I've been too good to my boyfriends already...Then why still they dumped me?!?!

Maybe there's no true love exists at all...I shouldn't believe in true love in the very first place...Nice and good guys are rare...Bad and playful guys are abundant...Some good guys eventually turn into bad guys...What to do??

Where'd you go?
I miss you so
seems like it's been forever
that you've been gone
PLEASE COME BACK HOME

♥RumikoLoves
11:29 PM

♥Saturday, June 23, 2007

This morning 8plus I woke up to eat my breakfast..Once I wake up, first thing I think of is him..Then I tried calling his phone again..I never stop trying from morning till night everyday..and know what? I manage to get through already..He on his phone already..BUT he never answer..I tried calling many times the whole day but just no one answers..I wonder is he purposely don't answer de or he's not there at all..I used my house phone call many times also the same..My house number is private..He couldn't know is me..I tried using other phone numbers also but to no avail..Really don't know what had happened to him..His phone on like never on like that..On till now but still no answers..Haiz..What shall I do now?? Sometimes I thought of giving up finding him but he just can't get off my mind..Really like him a lot..Love him a lot..Haiz..Sobz.. :'( He's able to give me the strength not to love any other guys except him in the future..Think I will be unmarried..LoL..

我的乌龟弟，
你到底在哪里，
没有你的日子真的好难过，
难过得泪从未停过，
哭得我喘不过气来，
你就舍得这样离我而去吗？

从未感到这么孤单的我，
快受不住这寂寞，
从未停止想你的我，
每晚独自个人流泪，
无论面临任何困扰，
你总是那让我勇敢面对的力量，
在我最脆弱的时候，
你是我唯希望的依靠，
那没有你的日子我该如何继续度过？

我从未离开过你身边，
真的好想跟你度过人生的匆匆波浪。

♥RumikoLoves
9:45 AM

♥Friday, June 22, 2007

This water fountain at Suntec City is magnificent! There's a performance from it too..If you haven't seen it before then, Go have a look at it! It's terrific! =)

♥RumikoLoves
2:34 AM

Stayed at home almost throughout the day today..Except that I went to Jurong Point a while at night to buy some neccessities..and also to go Jurong West area walk around, as usual, to see if I can see Wu Gui Di around..Haiz..Earlier on, I got scolded and beaten up by my eldest brother..Haiz..3 super hard slaps on my cheek, I went giddy immediately..Made my headache so pain that my tears immediately flow down my cheeks..My parents see already, tried asking my brother what happen but I stopped them..The more they try to stop and ask, the more my brother will get angry and the harder he will hit me..I rather they not interfere..They should know his character too..So they went back to their stuffs while my brother continue scolding me..He's angry that I didn't mop the kitchen floor..Haiz..He beats me over both minor and major matters..Since young already like that..Haiz..Really wonder when will all these stop..My misery in this hell home..Parents hope that I will marry off soon after studies so that I won't need to take anymore tortures from my brother..Haiz..When being beaten by him, the first person that came to my mind is Wu Gui Di..Don't know why..Suddenly think of him..Then worried about him again..Haiz..He really does come before me..Although tired and in pain, I still insist on my search for him at night..I'm so shag that I can fall asleep while walking..Haiz..I really miss him a lot..Really hope to see him again..As usual, more disappointments came..I didn't manage to find him..Walk through the blocks of flats..Only see Bangladeshs..Haiz..Sobz.. :'( Where exactly are you, Wu Gui Di? Where are you, where are you, where are you??? I'm really going insane over you already..When I got beaten by my brother, I really hope that he's there for me..Really wish..But impossible..

*Wu.Gui.Di loves Wu.Gui.Mei*

♥RumikoLoves
1:33 AM

♥Thursday, June 21, 2007

Today slept till quite late cause own time own target go out..Very tired so sleep a little longer..Supposingly got my Laogong accompany me go Marina Square de..But she last minute make her mum angry then couldn't go out already so in the end I went alone..Firstly I went MS..Search for shops that sells "Braun" Shavers, finally I found one..At Gain City..But I see most of the staffs there are all uncles..Went in to look for younger staffs and asked them if there is any staff calls Chong Yinn working there..But sad to say, don't have..Haiz..Think he not working already or I went to the wrong one..I did asked them whether is there any other shops in MS that sells Braun Shavers..They said no, but Suntec did sell too..I rmb Chong Yinn saying MS..It can't be wrong..Hoping that the staffs gave me the wrong information, I went on searching for other shops..But to no avail..Without leaving any details out, I went to Suntec as well..Search from towers to towers..Honestly..I'm very tired and disappointed..At the same time, my sick has not recovered yet..Running nose throughout the whole search in air-con places..Arghhh..Sneezing all the way..Hoping he's the one thinking of me..Haiz..After the search, more bad news came..I couldn't find the shop at all..Then I happen to pass by Kbox and saw Captain Ryan at the Recep..Went in to look for him cause was shocked to see him there..He's been transfered here and there..Poor him..LoL..More shocked I am to find Recep Joey there too..Haha..I forgot that she works there..Previously at MS, I did went in to the Kbox there and look for Recep Rain but unfortunately, today is her off day..Hmm..Yup..I stayed at Suntec Kbox chat with Ryan and Joey quite some time..Then waited for Joey off work at 7pm..After that she need to go Clementi Kbox find Recep Adeline and rest to sing and drink..Upon reach, she ask me join them and I did..We all drank Martell and chat, sing throughout..Till around 12plus and we went home..I reached home at 1am..I'm so troubled, disappointed and upset so I drank with them..But didn't get drunk at all..None of them knows what happen to me cause Joey is more depressed than I do..So I don't wish to trouble her about my stuffs..I just got to know Adeline today de..She's a nice and friendly girl.. =) This Friday night, I definitely will go drink to keep my mind off Wu Gui Di..Today I didn't stop trying to call him..Still, phone off..It's the third whole day he kept his phone off le..More worries came to me..Really feel like crying..My heart really hurts..Laogong did msg me and console me..Saying that maybe he sent his phone to service..I really hope so but it's kinda impossible..I was thinking maybe he went overseas and so his phone is off for days..I start to find excuses and lies to keep my hopes high..I'm very stupid right? Haiz..Next week jiu start school le..He can't possibly don't go school de..So next week I confirm will go SP de DCE find him de..Ask around the students there..I don't believe I can't find him..As for Chong Yinn that side, think really need give up le..I really don't have any other ways to get him except for him to log in his friendster..I did msg Wu Gui Di just now, although I know his phone is off..Don't know why but I feel like msging him to let him know how I feel and what I did all this while..I never stop msging him everyday too..At least one msg per day..A long one..Really hope one day he will see them..Supposingly Saturday plan to go Laogong's house bake cookies de..She bake for her Dennis, I bake for my Wu Gui Di..But now I don't know if I should still bake anot..I don't even know where is he, how am I going to pass to him?? Haiz..Sobz.. :'( I really miss him so so much..Moments with him in the past keep flashing across my mind non-stop today..No matter what I do, I think of him..As each day past, my disappointments increase..But still, I won't give up..Tml night I'm gonna find excuse to give my brother and go Jurong West again to look for him..and also Jurong Point K-Pool to see if him or Chong Yinn will be there..For the past few days, I also never stop checking whether he's online in msn anot..But he's not..All this while not at all..Last time he at least will online once in two days like that..This add on to my worries for him too..Haiz..GOD,PLEASE DON'T TAKE AWAY MY WU GUI DI FROM ME!!! PLEASE BLESS HIM WELL AND SAFE! Really wish nothing has happen to him at all..

Btw I'm really touched by the passer-bys who read my blog..Really thanks a lot for you all de encouragements, care and concern..I really appreciate them a lot..You all too..Take good care.. =)

*Wu.Gui.Di loves Wu.Gui.Mei*

♥RumikoLoves
5:32 AM

♥Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Recently, I'm in love with a guy whom I gave him a nickname called "Wu Gui Di"..He's a great guy..Cares for me a lot..Take care of me too..We kept msging each other everyday without fail, from morning till night..Until few days ago, the saddest moments of my life came..On 18 June 2007, he stopped msging me..I don't know why..Msg him quite a few times but no reply..Tried keep calling him, no one answers..Halfway through that day, he off his phone..At first I thought he's just trying to avoid me cause he did react a bit weird on the previous night, 17 June 2007..He told me that he plays with girls' feelings, hurt girls' feelings, never go for serious relationship, ask me find a better one instead of wasting my time on him now and etc etc..I know he's lying and hoping that I will believe him and leave him..Cause he's a dying man..He has a weak heart and may die anytime when he's sleeping and may never wake up the next morning..He told me before that he likes me too but he can't..Cause he don't want to hurt me..He don't want to be with me cause he's afraid that if one day he leaves me without saying, I will be more hurt..The worse thing of all is he off his phone from that day till now..I never stop trying to call him from that day till now..From morning till night everyday..As every minutes and seconds ticks, my worries for him doubles..I cried every night before I sleep cause I keep thinking of him and couldn't sleep at all..I cry very easily nowadays..Whenever I think of him, I cry..If he's avoiding me, he can't possibly off his phone for so many days..I'm so afraid that sth has happened to him..I don't wish anything to happen to him, you know? Haiz..Sobz.. :'( Just one reply or call from him, I'm satisfied..Better than no news about him at all like now..I don't know any of his friends and nor where he exactly lives..I only know he stays around Jurong Point..That's all..I don't have his house phone number too..Totally no other ways to get to him already..Just now before I go home, I took bus 243 around the Jurong West estate, near Jurong Point, hoping that I can find him but to no avail..I alight somewhere near Gek Poh cause I saw a funeral..Not that I want to curse him..Just that I don't want to give up any details that might let me find him..I keep walking past it but I couldn't get to see the photo of the dead..The people at the wake started to look at me so I gave up and walk around the estates..Walk from there back to Jurong Point again, hoping that I will get to see him along the way..The more I walk, the more my tears start to flow down my cheeks..I started crying eventually..Cause the more I walk, the more disappointments I get..But I won't give up finding him..Not skipping any details at all..On 16 June 2007, we two did went out together..It's our first date out..He specially came down to my house area play with me..He came to my block wait for me..Then we went to food market and eat..Still rmb he keeps insisting on me eat porridge and drink mineral water cause I'm sick..He just order everything for me without me doing anything..My one nod, he goes..After meal, he really forces me to eat medicine..Oh ya..And we got caught by my Dad..For the first time in my life my Dad caught me with a guy..LoL..He greeted my Dad and etc..Everything is so funny..He's a very cute guy too..After that we went to play pool at Jurong Superbowl..Had lots of fun there..I say I want watch movie, he jiu bring me go..We went to Jurong East Entertainment watch movie after that..We watched Fantastic 4..During the movie, even though I say I not cold although I lied, he still insists on taking off his jacket and give me wear..I was shocked that he's wearing sleeveless but he insists on me putting on his jacket..I was really touched..Sth weird about him is that while watching, he tends to look at me sometimes for no particular reason..LoL..After movie, he needed to go to Jurong Point find his buddy so I went along..Then we went K-Pool play pool again..Cause his buddy want to play and his buddy just broke up with his gf so kinda down..I only see them play..That stupid Wu Gui Di keep wanting to matchmake me and his buddy..He knew I angry liao, he jiu stop..His reactions are god damn cute..While he's playing, we suddenly got an direct eye-to-eye contact with each other..I was damn shocked..But from that eye contact, I can sense his feelings..Hmm..That is the first and last time I saw his buddy..His name is Chong Yinn..I don't have his number at all..All I know is he works at Marina Square selling Braun Shavers..So tml I've asked my Laogong, Chan Myat accompany me go there find his friend..Hoping that he will know where and how is my Wu Gui Di..Haiz..Oh ya..My best friend, Chun Mei also agreed to help me walk past the wake tml to see who's exactly the dead person there as she stays nearby there..Really thanks a lot everyone who had helped me..I really appreciate it a lot..Really hope that I can find him asap..I really miss him a lot..That day out with him is the happiest day of my life..He really did spend a lot of money on me that day..He never let me pays a single cent that day..I felt so guilty..I didn't mean it..He just insists so..Life without him really is meaningless to me..Told my mum about me and him..She can feel my sorrow too..As at the same time, I made a mistake and lost my very first modelling job of my life..Everything is just happening on me all at once..I'm not very sure whether how long I can endure all these..My emotions are all breaking down..Today is the third day he went missing to me already..Really hope that I can get his house number or address so that I can get to him..Seeing him alright is enough for me le..If not, I won't give up looking for him..I will search for him tml night too..Every night or any free time, I will search for him de..I manage to find Chong Yinn's friendster but he two weeks never log in le..I did sent him a msg regarding my Wu Gui Di..Really hope that he will log in asap and reply me..Wu Gui Di..Please don't leave me.. :'(

*Wu.Gui.Di loves Wu.Gui.Mei*

♥RumikoLoves
3:25 AM

♥Friday, June 08, 2007

Today I damn happy sia..Firstly, I'm done with my tests! No more tests le! Yuppy! Hehe..Today's OOAD Test think fail le ba..Although I seem to know how to do but my answers seem totally wrong..Haiz..Forget it..Anyway is over le..What is done, cant be undone.. =) Secondly, It's the start of the school term break! 2 weeks break! Yeah! Haha.. Thirdly, I receive a call from my modelling trainer this afternoon during school..He said he has a part-time job for me from 19 June to 22 June..I was shock! LoL..Hopefully is an modelling assignment, then that shall be my very first one..Yuppy! Hehe.. ;p He also told me to get 2 half-length snap shots of myself and send them to Renee at night which I had already done so..Hmm..Honestly..I really hope to get my own portfolio and com cards done..But too bad, I don't have the money..Haiz.. :( Hmm..My 2 weeks break are no longer bored anymore..Got work do..Hehe..

Ytd I went to modelling training too..Learnt quite a number of stuffs ytd..After training went to eat at the nearby Katong Laksa with Rachelle and Hazel..Ytd I'm also glad that I got along quite well with my modelmates..They also ask me join them on 12 June, Tuesday to go shopping..It's our SHOPPING DAY!!! LoL..Can't wait for that day to come..Going Orchard shop with a group of models from the same agency as mine..LoL..And furthermore all are pretty models, except me..Haiz..Oh ya..Ytd Rachelle did mention about participating NewFace..She says our trainer suggests us to participate..It can also be an experience for us..So on my way home, I bought the News Paper and send in my applications last night already..Hehe..Hopefully they approve the photos i send in and choose me!!! Haha..

Oh ya..Today I also manage to go Clementi de Botak Jones eat with Siew Fong, Shawn and Benjamin..All my classmates..LoL..Introduce by Ben de..It's a very famous and delicious western food stall lai de..Nice and really damn filling..I eat till I want vomit..LoL..Then, we go play pool..Hate playing pool today man..Everytime very good liao, last minute got damn big mistake then didn't win..Haiz..So in the end, I didn't win any match just now..Sianz..Oh ya..Before going to eat, Shawn dropped my laptop in the bus..Now he owes me a fondue too le..Hehe.. ;p

Hmm..Tml also got lots of activities..The most sian thing today is that tml actually no need go school de, in the end got OOAD make-up lesson from 1 to 4..I'm like wth la..At night I still meeting Pei Qi they all at 7 at Somerset MRT..After make-up lesson in the afternoon, still got to go Orchard with SF and the rest..LoL..Before going school for the lesson, I'm also gonna go Jurong West de Equzxit cut hair..Hehe..

MelMel tml night jiu book out for this weekend le..Hmm..But don't think this time I will go find him ba..Cause going Cine watch movie, Ocean 13 and eat at Orchard with Pei Qi and the rest to celebrate her birthday..Hopefully after he go home bath and come out again got pass by Orchard then can come return me my ear rings..I left them at his house last weekend..Haiz..Sianz..I'm really glad that I manage to control myself these few days..For not over-expressing myself to MelMel like before le..I seldom msg or call him for the past few days already..Unless he contacts me then it's a different case le..My feelings for him are fading but still exist..Hard to erase it from my heart..Really don't know why..Haiz..

This Saturday night think I also not going DXO le ba..Find it kinda sian..Also no one pei me go, so what for? Think I find somewhere else to stay over on that night ba..Laogong's house again? or Godparents' house? Hmm..Let me consider first..Hehe..

Oh ya..Right now I'm waiting for Jason to start his school holiday break then he shall fulfill his promise to me..Hehe..That is to bring me to the zoo..Haha..He says his break should start at 23 June, so yup, once he holiday liao, we all go wild..LoL..

♥RumikoLoves
3:53 AM

♥Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Yoz! I'm back..Wow! It's been months since I last blog le..LoL..Lazy la..Haha..Hmm..Actually is too many stuffs happen to me le..So don't really have the mood to blog..Let me update about myself recently ba..

Few weeks ago, I went clubbing for the very first time..At ZOUK..Underage Party..Brought Chun Mei and her younger sister, Gui Siang go..Waiting outside to go in for like an hour plus..Sweating all over man..Omg..Went in also squeeze here and there..Too many people around..Especially Ah Bengs and Ah Lians..Haiz..Sianz..We all didn't dare to dance at all..At around 12, Ah Mei and Siang need to rush home so I stayed with Si Yun..She brought me into the dance floor..At first I felt uncomfortable..Cause I don't really know how to dance..LoL..But after some time, I started to get high..Haha..I started dancing..At first with Si Yun and her friends..Then with some indian guys and then other guys too..Dancing around with strangers..Then saw a large group of my outside guy friends..I started dancing around with them too..Got to know a few new guys among them too..Like Raynard and Ah Hock..Actually got one indian guy want know me de, but I don't want..Don't know why..Haiz..Raynard say I dance very well and want me dance with him next times too..I shall see ba..Hehe..This Saturday night DXO also got underage party again..I'm still troubled whether to go anot..I've not yet found any friends accompany me go..Tried asking MelMel, Nellie and Rain but none can confirm..Tried asking Chan Myat, Pei Qi they all, all cannot make it..Haiz..Really hope MelMel will go then I can dance with him rather than other guys..Haiz..Btw that night at ZOUK, don't know why, but dancing around like this with other guys makes me feel like a slut..I love dancing and enjoys it a lot..But never with guys before..I saw Si Yun and her friends can dance with stranger guys like it's so normal so I told myself while dancing that maybe this is what they call, Clubbing ba..and Yup..This very first time experience makes me start to love Clubbing too already..Hehe.. ;p Honestly..Dancing around with guys like this, I feel very guilty towards MelMel..Haiz..But anyway he doesn't bother so why should I? Humphx..Oh ya..Raynard did jio me few days later when I know him from ZOUK but I rejected..I still have feelings for MelMel so I can't accept a new relationship at the moment..I don't wish to stead for the time being..I also got to know a new guy from Friendster, Jun Sheng..We've went Kbox and watch movie before..He likes me and did jio me before too but I rejected him too..Also for the same reason..But he wants to wait for me..Haiz..Really don't know what to do..

Few days ago, 2nd June, I went MayDay's Concert with Laogong(Chan Myat) and her poly classmates..At first I'm not that interested in MayDay de..But after going their concert, I find their songs are quite nice and I LOVE AH XIN's VOICE A LOT!!! Hehe..He's also a very handsome guy!!! OMG!!! LoL..Their concert was really god damn high man..Haha..Me and Laogong was like jumping and waving our light sticks non-stop..LoL..

Oh ya..I got back in contact with my very first ex..LoL..It's been 4 years plus since we last chat le..Back then, it's really a very long and sad story..Even now, I can't mention his name cause it's a secret relationship..I still can remember those incidents very clearly, like it had happened just ytd..Haiz..I've been really seriously hurt from that relationship and incidents that happen..But anyway it's over for so long and I've already forgiven him..We are good friends back again..Hehe..As usual, he's a caring, thoughtful, helpful and nice guy..His skill still hasn't changed..Which is Sweet-Talk..LoL..and Yup..His "Playboy" nickname also hasn't changed too..His same old 'Hua Xin' personality just won't change..Haiz..I've got nothing to say..

Hmm..The saddest thing that has happen to me this period of time is there's no more MelMel and stuffs le..We broke up on 28th April..On that day, I finally let him go..No choice..Cause he say he don't like me anymore..With that excuse, I had no choice but to let go..Even though I don't believe that his feelings for me are gone in just a few days but I was thinking..I may be able to hold onto him for few days more but not for long so I gave up..Haiz..He's also a very weird guy man..Really don't know what he's thinking and what he wants..Few weeks ago, he ask me go watch movie at Century Square..Before watching, I pei him go eat his dinner then he started checking my hp..Almost all my msgs..Ask here and there..It's so obvious that he's jealous but he just won't admit..After the movie, I saw a love bite on his neck..At that very moment, I felt really god damn jealous but he started to explain to me..At first I don't believe but he kept explaining to me even when I didn't say anything..Looking into his eyes, I can tell that he's not lying..and the way he keeps explaining is really very funny but also touches me..It shows that he does care how I think..But still, he doesn't want to admit..Haiz..
There was once we chat on the phone and he sang to me..I was really touched..Even though I don't think he's singing for me but still, I'm glad and happy..and also once he told me he still remembers the very first guy who came Kbox sing and ask for my number..That incident happen even before we stead..I was really shock that he still remembers.. =)
Hmm..Actually I know that all those guys will treat me much more better than MelMel but I really don't know why it's so hard to get over him..Really hate this feeling..To be honest, my feelings for him did fade quite a lot during this period of time..That is why I manage to control myself not to contact him the past few days..Last time I will can't control myself and keep calling and msging him for no reason..Worried and stuffs..Although now still will but I don't want to bother so much about him le..What for? He doesn't even bother about me..But few days ago, I never go bother him, he come bother me..Haiz..Monday 4plus early in the morning call me, ask me go find him at Tampines..I'm like wth la..I got lesson at 9am leh..He still kept insisting on me finding him..But I can't and so he gave up and put down the phone..I'm felt really sorry but also at the same time, worried..Worried till I didn't really sleep from 4plus till time to wake up and go school..Haiz..Worse still, I slept at 2plus..So actually I slept for only 2 hours..Haiz..Really don't know what the hell has happened to him..He sounds drunk when he called..and he says that he's upset and stuffs..I not worried then is lying..Haiz..Toss here and there wondering how he is..I know I'm angry that he calls at such a stupid time but I'm even more upset over worrying him and even apologies to him for being unable to go find him..haiz..Furthermore it's not the first time he calls this way..The previous night also..On Saturday night when I thon at Laogong's house, he calls me 5plus in the morning and same thing, ask me go find him at Tampines..Whenever he's drunk or upset, he will call me go find him..But at weird timings..Haiz..I really want to be there for him de but sometimes it's just impossible..Now whether to wait for him anot, I also don't know..I just want to let nature takes its course..See whether by July, my feelings for him still exists or not..Anyway now is already June..Just endure all these troubles for a few more weeks will do..Honestly..If after he book out at July, I ask him for patch, he reject, I will slowly make myself die heart..Cause the reason he gave me for breaking and not patching now is that he doesn't want to have a relationship now, when he's inside the camp..He can't cope for one..So when he book out, he has no more reason for not steading already..But I think most probably he won't patch ba..Cause I can sense that his feelings for me had already fade completely..Ask him whether he still like me anot, he always avoid this qns..really don't know why..The ans he gave me is we are more than good friends but less than bfg..He says this ans is very obvious already..But I don't think so..His ex also waiting for him and waited very long already..They had been together for 6 years before..How can I fight with her? Haiz..She's also waited for him quite a long time already..She ask him to watch movie with her, he immediately agree..I ask him, he still need to confirm with me another day and ended up didn't watch..He also tells me that her relationship with him now is better than mine with him..From all these, isn't it obvious that he likes her? Ask him, he can tell me he don't have feelings for her at the moment..Who will believe? I ask him he got feelings for me, he can't ans..What is this? I'm really in a dilemma!!! Haiz.. :(

I recently keep chasing a Taiwan Drama called Smile Pasta(Wei Xiao Pasta)..It's kinda a lame drama but I find it very nice and cute..Funny I should say..After watching it, makes me happy and want to stay cheerful and strong..There's a popular phrase in it which I've learnt and made me happier is that.......

(^_^)只要笑一笑，没什么事情过不了(^_^)

♥RumikoLoves
4:17 AM