♥Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Yoz! I'm back..Wow! It's been months since I last blog le..LoL..Lazy la..Haha..Hmm..Actually is too many stuffs happen to me le..So don't really have the mood to blog..Let me update about myself recently ba..

Few weeks ago, I went clubbing for the very first time..At ZOUK..Underage Party..Brought Chun Mei and her younger sister, Gui Siang go..Waiting outside to go in for like an hour plus..Sweating all over man..Omg..Went in also squeeze here and there..Too many people around..Especially Ah Bengs and Ah Lians..Haiz..Sianz..We all didn't dare to dance at all..At around 12, Ah Mei and Siang need to rush home so I stayed with Si Yun..She brought me into the dance floor..At first I felt uncomfortable..Cause I don't really know how to dance..LoL..But after some time, I started to get high..Haha..I started dancing..At first with Si Yun and her friends..Then with some indian guys and then other guys too..Dancing around with strangers..Then saw a large group of my outside guy friends..I started dancing around with them too..Got to know a few new guys among them too..Like Raynard and Ah Hock..Actually got one indian guy want know me de, but I don't want..Don't know why..Haiz..Raynard say I dance very well and want me dance with him next times too..I shall see ba..Hehe..This Saturday night DXO also got underage party again..I'm still troubled whether to go anot..I've not yet found any friends accompany me go..Tried asking MelMel, Nellie and Rain but none can confirm..Tried asking Chan Myat, Pei Qi they all, all cannot make it..Haiz..Really hope MelMel will go then I can dance with him rather than other guys..Haiz..Btw that night at ZOUK, don't know why, but dancing around like this with other guys makes me feel like a slut..I love dancing and enjoys it a lot..But never with guys before..I saw Si Yun and her friends can dance with stranger guys like it's so normal so I told myself while dancing that maybe this is what they call, Clubbing ba..and Yup..This very first time experience makes me start to love Clubbing too already..Hehe.. ;p Honestly..Dancing around with guys like this, I feel very guilty towards MelMel..Haiz..But anyway he doesn't bother so why should I? Humphx..Oh ya..Raynard did jio me few days later when I know him from ZOUK but I rejected..I still have feelings for MelMel so I can't accept a new relationship at the moment..I don't wish to stead for the time being..I also got to know a new guy from Friendster, Jun Sheng..We've went Kbox and watch movie before..He likes me and did jio me before too but I rejected him too..Also for the same reason..But he wants to wait for me..Haiz..Really don't know what to do..

Few days ago, 2nd June, I went MayDay's Concert with Laogong(Chan Myat) and her poly classmates..At first I'm not that interested in MayDay de..But after going their concert, I find their songs are quite nice and I LOVE AH XIN's VOICE A LOT!!! Hehe..He's also a very handsome guy!!! OMG!!! LoL..Their concert was really god damn high man..Haha..Me and Laogong was like jumping and waving our light sticks non-stop..LoL..

Oh ya..I got back in contact with my very first ex..LoL..It's been 4 years plus since we last chat le..Back then, it's really a very long and sad story..Even now, I can't mention his name cause it's a secret relationship..I still can remember those incidents very clearly, like it had happened just ytd..Haiz..I've been really seriously hurt from that relationship and incidents that happen..But anyway it's over for so long and I've already forgiven him..We are good friends back again..Hehe..As usual, he's a caring, thoughtful, helpful and nice guy..His skill still hasn't changed..Which is Sweet-Talk..LoL..and Yup..His "Playboy" nickname also hasn't changed too..His same old 'Hua Xin' personality just won't change..Haiz..I've got nothing to say..

Hmm..The saddest thing that has happen to me this period of time is there's no more MelMel and stuffs le..We broke up on 28th April..On that day, I finally let him go..No choice..Cause he say he don't like me anymore..With that excuse, I had no choice but to let go..Even though I don't believe that his feelings for me are gone in just a few days but I was thinking..I may be able to hold onto him for few days more but not for long so I gave up..Haiz..He's also a very weird guy man..Really don't know what he's thinking and what he wants..Few weeks ago, he ask me go watch movie at Century Square..Before watching, I pei him go eat his dinner then he started checking my hp..Almost all my msgs..Ask here and there..It's so obvious that he's jealous but he just won't admit..After the movie, I saw a love bite on his neck..At that very moment, I felt really god damn jealous but he started to explain to me..At first I don't believe but he kept explaining to me even when I didn't say anything..Looking into his eyes, I can tell that he's not lying..and the way he keeps explaining is really very funny but also touches me..It shows that he does care how I think..But still, he doesn't want to admit..Haiz..
There was once we chat on the phone and he sang to me..I was really touched..Even though I don't think he's singing for me but still, I'm glad and happy..and also once he told me he still remembers the very first guy who came Kbox sing and ask for my number..That incident happen even before we stead..I was really shock that he still remembers.. =)
Hmm..Actually I know that all those guys will treat me much more better than MelMel but I really don't know why it's so hard to get over him..Really hate this feeling..To be honest, my feelings for him did fade quite a lot during this period of time..That is why I manage to control myself not to contact him the past few days..Last time I will can't control myself and keep calling and msging him for no reason..Worried and stuffs..Although now still will but I don't want to bother so much about him le..What for? He doesn't even bother about me..But few days ago, I never go bother him, he come bother me..Haiz..Monday 4plus early in the morning call me, ask me go find him at Tampines..I'm like wth la..I got lesson at 9am leh..He still kept insisting on me finding him..But I can't and so he gave up and put down the phone..I'm felt really sorry but also at the same time, worried..Worried till I didn't really sleep from 4plus till time to wake up and go school..Haiz..Worse still, I slept at 2plus..So actually I slept for only 2 hours..Haiz..Really don't know what the hell has happened to him..He sounds drunk when he called..and he says that he's upset and stuffs..I not worried then is lying..Haiz..Toss here and there wondering how he is..I know I'm angry that he calls at such a stupid time but I'm even more upset over worrying him and even apologies to him for being unable to go find him..haiz..Furthermore it's not the first time he calls this way..The previous night also..On Saturday night when I thon at Laogong's house, he calls me 5plus in the morning and same thing, ask me go find him at Tampines..Whenever he's drunk or upset, he will call me go find him..But at weird timings..Haiz..I really want to be there for him de but sometimes it's just impossible..Now whether to wait for him anot, I also don't know..I just want to let nature takes its course..See whether by July, my feelings for him still exists or not..Anyway now is already June..Just endure all these troubles for a few more weeks will do..Honestly..If after he book out at July, I ask him for patch, he reject, I will slowly make myself die heart..Cause the reason he gave me for breaking and not patching now is that he doesn't want to have a relationship now, when he's inside the camp..He can't cope for one..So when he book out, he has no more reason for not steading already..But I think most probably he won't patch ba..Cause I can sense that his feelings for me had already fade completely..Ask him whether he still like me anot, he always avoid this qns..really don't know why..The ans he gave me is we are more than good friends but less than bfg..He says this ans is very obvious already..But I don't think so..His ex also waiting for him and waited very long already..They had been together for 6 years before..How can I fight with her? Haiz..She's also waited for him quite a long time already..She ask him to watch movie with her, he immediately agree..I ask him, he still need to confirm with me another day and ended up didn't watch..He also tells me that her relationship with him now is better than mine with him..From all these, isn't it obvious that he likes her? Ask him, he can tell me he don't have feelings for her at the moment..Who will believe? I ask him he got feelings for me, he can't ans..What is this? I'm really in a dilemma!!! Haiz.. :(

I recently keep chasing a Taiwan Drama called Smile Pasta(Wei Xiao Pasta)..It's kinda a lame drama but I find it very nice and cute..Funny I should say..After watching it, makes me happy and want to stay cheerful and strong..There's a popular phrase in it which I've learnt and made me happier is that.......

(^_^)只要笑一笑，没什么事情过不了(^_^)

♥RumikoLoves
4:17 AM

♥Wednesday, June 06, 2007

JUKEBOX

♥EMOGIRL

CRAVINGS

LOVES

PAWPRINT

MEMORIES

SAYONARA

!THANKS