♥Tuesday, August 21, 2007

today went that mac again to study..veri qiao..i saw xiao weichao there again..but this time, saw him with weina, yibei and one more guy whom i dont know..today really got study..cause wednesday is DB exam le..thursday, OOAD and friday, LAN..haiz..sian..

this morning receive msg from colin that wednesday 7pm got modelling training..i was like sian away..cause next day still got exam..suppose to go study..haiz..but no choice..cant skip any lesson anymore..and if i didnt rmb wrongly, that is the last lesson le..and hopefully on that day i can get my portfolio photos cd..dont wish to make another extra trip down just to get them..its god damn far la..haiz..everytime need take 3 hours plus bus trip home from there..sian..

after studying, i went sheng siong buy some stuffs and thought of buying redoxen vitamins for bbh..cause he told me that he keep vomitting recently and also didnt eat much..kinda worried for him..dont wish him to be like me now..keep vomitting..zhen de hen nan shou de..haiz..

then i went s11 to buy bbh's favourite there..shao rou fan..but sad to say..close le..there very early close de..sian away..i walk to my house downstairs de coffeeshop buy hokkien mee for him..then walk to his condo and meet him downstairs pass to him the food and vitamins..

on my way to s11..very qiao again..i saw xiao ben again..lol..he so cute la..see me on bus then faster rush up..sit beside me..his friend is also very cute..lol..but i next stop jiu get down le then he and his friend also get down..LOL..he just took one stop just to pei me..haha..weird him..then he ask me pei him wait for his bus..this debt, i find aide(qikai) suan! LOL..is your cousin hor! =P

initially me and bbh's purpose of meeting up is to return him his hp battery..glad to hear from him that the food is nice..im so afraid that he will dislike it..but frankly speaking, my coffeeshop here de food quite nice..im only refering to one stall only btw..the zhu chao stall..my favourite dishes there are mee goreng, sambal fried rice and ma lai feng guang..the fried bee hoon, hokkien mee and fish head soup there also not bad..as for the price, i find it worthwhile cause they offer quite a big amount..

walk home from his condo halfway, my ankle fa zhuo again..sadden..i walk home like an handicapped..cause of an incident few years back, i injured my ankle and didnt go for the doctor..cause of my that stupid dad who says apply yellow medicine push abit can already..and now here are all these side effects..arghhh..even brothers are angry with him too, for not bringing me to the doctor that time..haiz..

just now suddenly minor asthma attack again..haiz..sian away..i faster take out my inhaler..im now cooled down..hate this man..think cause i stay out in the cold too much just now in the night then like that..haiz..plus just now when reach bbh's condo, i guess i walk too much then in the end got breathing difficulty and nauseous came again..really wanna vomit..arghhh..at mac also like that..haiz..i wonder when will all these stop..my body is getting weaker and weaker..how i wish someone can take care of me, care for me and be there for me..someone i hope for..but impossible la..LOL..i think too much again..

tml morning going sp..hehe..to study..with the company of laogong..she studying in her school with her classmates..some i know de..so i go her school join her in studying lo..not lonely tml! hehe.. =P

treating someone well must really say out ma? haiz..for me, i always believe that i do sth for someone no need always say out de..if not it will be like im doing for the sake of letting the person see and know..and not doing it from the deep of my heart..but it doesnt applies on bbh..haiz..i receive a msg from him saying, "at least now, there's sth nice about you i can rmb."..im like wth! words that came out from his mouth really never stops hurting me man..frankly speaking..i dont find myself treat him as bad as he thinks of me..i admit i didnt treat him well but not that bad as he thinks ba..just that i did stuffs for him without telling him and he didnt realise them so he thinks of me so badly..why must everything say out then can? i dont find them true anymore after saying out..its like so fake already..haiz..i never encounter this kind of problems before..ive never been said this way that i treat someone that badly..maybe is again cause of me and bbh's frequency dont match again..so he always dont get me..think for him, i must really say out EVERYTHING..and i really meant EVERYTHING..haiz..

and yup..he never rmb the good stuffs that i did for him..always the bad ones..he prefers to rmb the bad side of me, instead of the good ones..and this is how he judge me..finally i realise it today..ive been so wrong to keep blaming myself for treating him really like shit..but i was wrong..i did treat him well too..just that he didnt realise and keep whining to me and in the end me myself also admit everything le..

i bought him brunch once..but its a never ever forgotten incident to me..he wants me send him breakfast very much..me tired till i cant bring myself out of bed..but in the end, i force myself out..bought the brunch and walk over to his house in HEELS..cause i got modelling training on that particular day..and cause hes kinda in a hurry to work, i walk real fast or rather run with my heels to his house..and sadly, my toes are injured..plasters on most of them and during training, colin was like "poor thing, what happen to you?"..haiz..i didnt say anything..and now my toes are full of scars..no matter how much medicine i apply, they never goes off!!! haiz..really very ugly..frustrated i am..all thanks to him that he forgot about everything that day..he was like so thankful to me that day..and i really mean THAT DAY..

i reach home already then gastric came..then i realise i didnt eat anything just now..just a burger for the entire day today..haiz..im always so forgetful..everytime buy for others liao then forgot about myself..just now only thought of buying for bbh..

buy dinner for family everytime also like that..as my eldest brother and dad are very particular with the food we buy for him so i always rmb very clearly what they all want..buy up liao then rmb i forgot to buy mine..haiz..my that brother..buy wrongly or buy food that he doesnt like even though he say anything, he will scold and beat me, say is my mistake..scold me stupid, dumb etc..haiz..as for dad, buy he dont like de, he will keep nagging and scolding non-stop..very bth de..im like you want you yourself go down buy la..buy back liao still want complain..i also not your maid..arghhh.. =(

so i just took some leftovers breakfast of my eldest brother this morning and fill my stomach..and of course with my favourite, VITASOY! hehe..since primary school till now..one or more per day without fail..unless mum no money buy..

-me missing him

♥RumikoLoves
12:04 AM

♥Tuesday, August 21, 2007

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