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♥Friday, November 02, 2007
he will never know how much he mean to me..just 2 words out from his mouth,"dont smoke",ill immediately on the spot quit for him..ill do everything for him..contribute or sacrifice..whatever anyone can think of..ill do whatever it takes to get his love..but the problem is i dont know what to do..or rather,theres nothing i can do..hais..sobs..='(im like so frustrated..guys confessing to me,doing things for me,keep asking me out,caring and loving me..BUT all i can ever think of is HIM!all i ever wanted is HIM and nothing else!='(now everyday at home is like waiting for the family to fall apart..my closest bro,third one,couldnt tolerate my eldest bro anymore and told me that hes moving out again next month..hais..he left home few years ago..then came back for afew years..now leaving again..hais..aint we a family?aint we suppose to face problems together as a family?but how come everyones running away?i dont mean a single thing to him ma?i thought he dote on me the most?why leave me?i feel as though really no one wants me already,you know?CHARCOAL dont want me..mummy cant care me much..now third korkor also dont want me le..not long later,second korkor also moving out le..everybodys leaving me behind..throwing me aside..i hate them..truly hate them..they never think of how will i feel..as a child in the past,seeing my bros kena tortured by my eldest one then bth and leave home,i can never describe how i feel back then..then now as a grown-up,they leave again..hais..i really doubt that im their so-call 'BELOVED SISTER'..=(mummy sprain her neck ytd night while sleeping then complain to me about her ache just now when she back from work..although im god damn tired already but still,i applied medicated oil on her neck and help her massage..hope that she will feel better..but instead,i massage till my hand muscle cramp..hais..=(
today dont know smoke how many cigarettes nia..the greatest record so far?i guess so..got 10 over sticks in just one day,today..hais..
these few nights i really find it hard to sleep..i cant stop thinking of him..he just cant get off my mind..hais..what should i do??can someone save me?hais..sobs..='(
neverending sleepless nights???
-lurbbing him
♥RumikoLoves
3:42 AM
RUMIKO
