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♥Sunday, December 09, 2007


think i better blog again before wanxin say my blog is dead again.lols.

hmm.life for me now?not much progress.still the same.monday common tests le.i still havent start studying yet.tml must really chiong le.damn stress.but good thing is after tests,holiday again.around 2 to 3 weeks i guess.hmm.but frankly speaking,im afraid i cant move on to next semester.cause this semester,i slack too much already.too much stuffs had happened to me.hais.=(

its been quite some time already.i still dont see my third bro.think this time hes really moving out again.when he coming back,i dont know.call him and scold,all he say is "im busy working."hais.forget it.think ill just treat it as i have lost one elder brother.honestly,im mad at him.he think hes the only one who wanna run away?me too,okay?!but i have no choice.if i leave,nobody's got to take care of this home,my mum and especially my eldest bro.he needs me everyday.got to take care of him.hais.sian.

few days back,im with alvin,nic they all at mos.then heard HE's coming to find them.i really dont know whether should i leave them to keep myself away from HIM or just stay at where am i and hackcare HIM?i really dont know.but in the end,i stayed there.and as i expected,he didnt join us.he saw me and just walk past us without any response.so in the end,they all went up to catch up him and im left all alone there.all these are nonsense.what have i done wrong to make him treat me this way?he need my help,i try my best to complete it.and for his info,i didnt slpt at all,just to complete what he want me to do.did i do wrongly?i contributed so much just for him and in the end what i got in return is more coldness from him.not even a "thank you" from him.im truly hurt.that night,i left mos so that later on when they are back,he can come back to sit there and not other place cause of my presence.i went to 620 below de playground alone.sat there all alone crying.i feel so helpless.after crying,i thought alot.for him,ive already lost lots of opportunites into new relationship.i reject and waited,reject and waited.and this is what i get.will history ever repeat?me waiting for him for 1 year plus last time and in the end i try out with bee and we ended up lasting for more than a year?im scared.truly scared.cause i cant give him up.i really dont dare to go into a new relationship.

btw thanks,joseph and nic.for finding me when im all alone at the playground.although im there alone for going 2 hours,but afterall you all still came.im glad.really.thanks lots!^.^ but of course,im shivering like hell,falling sick soon,staying there for such a long time.

today i saw him again.from far of course.im at mos and hes at the taxi stand.i was with alvin they all again but he didnt come over.so alvin they all went over.then he took cab home and the cab past by me.i felt a stab in my heart and i dont know why.everytime he past by me without interacting with me,like im invisible,i felt a great pain in my heart.my friends keep saying why everytime they see me,i so upset de.i also dont know why.hais.=( i guess its time for me to start afresh once again.try to go into a new relationship and see how it goes?hopefully it will work.hope that i wont have to look back again.to HIM again.

recently keep having contact with this guy.we kinda get along quite well.but i dont know why im scared again.whether how we will move on or how will we work out,i have no idea.and the biggest problem that is troubling me all along is i still havent got over HIM.what should i do?i dont like doing replacement feelings.its heartless.the other guy will be very ke lian.hais.just like bee.last time with bee,first few break ups is i mention de.also cause of HIM.hais.but luckily bee gave me alot chances and we manage to last long.im glad.thanks bee lots.except for the matter that made us broke up at the very end.bee afterall still got to change.if not the next girl will be very unlucky.

this guy is not bad.pleasant looking,kinda nice character etc.but i know him not very long only.plus he is indeed a nice guy.i guess alot of girls will be after him ba.even if i really wanna be with him,also wont have chance de.think i better not think so much and just continue moving on with my single life.

seeing my friends so in love with their steads,im still afterall very envious.

finally.im starting to learn driving.excited i am.hehe.^.^

-lurbbing him

♥RumikoLoves
3:37 AM