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♥Thursday, January 17, 2008
Just now i got a GOD DAMN IT GREAT NEWS from hubby!That is he's starting work on this friday!Which means our first date on sunday will be cancelled!And the promise he gave me to fetch me from work on saturday also gone!I know he didnt mean it de!But i wonder anyone can understand how i feel right now!To be honest,im crying right now!I just cant control my tears!My heart really hurts a million times!Till i find it so hard to breathe!This is the reason why i always wanted my hubby to come out find me.But he's too lazy to do so.Pei me go westmall,fetch me from work etc.Not even ONCE!And great,now he's starting work.At the same time,its just at the start of our relationship.What should i do man?Can someone tell me?Im really LOST!I dont wanna vent my anger on him cause i know he didnt mean it.Thats why im here venting on my blog.Now what i feel is beating someone up.And know what?I seldom angry till wanna beat people de.Great this time!WTF!THIS IS JUST ISNT MEEE!!!I really wonder when then hubby will understand how i feel.I believe he has his own reasons for not liking to go out.But the problem is i everytime like that go his house there find him,i eventually also will tired de.It isnt near.Taking two different buses from school to get to his house.Taking cab home during midnight just cause i wanna be with him longer.I myself know that to me,i find it all worth it.But how much longer can i endure all these?I dont have so much money to take cab.I dont have so much energy or a perfect health to always go find him.My body's getting weaker and weaker.I really dont know how much can my body still take.I just really hope he will somehow come out find me once in a while.And from what i rmb,i guess me and hubby havent went to any places out of gombak before.Isnt it pathetic?Couples usually start from meeting outside.Go on dates.Then become closer to going their houses.Me?Everything opposite.I guess if i never always go down gombak and mix around with those friends of mine often,i also wont know my hubby le.Actually wanna confront hubby about this just now but ended up him telling me he's starting to work on friday.Hais.Sobs.='(-TEARS SHEDToday also ALMOST quarrel with hubby.Luckily he gave in to me and i also let it go.If not,we will really quarrel i guess.Hais.Cause i wanted him to pei me go westmall buy stuffs and eat dinner together.But he told me he insufficient sleep so very tired,dont feel like going out.I can understand.I tried to.But its not the first time he reject me asking him out le.Im like the GUY in a relationship man.The one who is always organising,asking for dates etc.Hais.Ytd night also told him to wait for me for dinner today.I just really dont like the feeling of eating alone.Close friends of mine should know it very well.I used to rather dont eat if i have to be the only one eating.But know what?He didnt wait for me for dinner.Hais.=(Dont know why.Im starting to feel that there's no fate in this relationship at all.Like everything's going against us.Its only the start leh.Hais.The more i lurbb hubby,the more hurtful i am when comes to problems.Is it a good thing that im falling deeper for hubby?I really doubt it.But i know.Im falling bit by bit more for hubby le.Hais.
♥RumikoLoves
1:46 AM
RUMIKO
