♥Sunday, March 30, 2008

My wrist sprain got worse today
and no one's concern! =(
except charcoal
glad that theres still someone who bothers =D
he gave me advices
thanks ^.^

Today whole day at home
never go out
regretted
should have went out
cause kena scolded several times by my bro again
hais
and yup
one box on the left side of my jaw
starting it hurts alot
after that jiu no feeling le
sadded
what i believe is indeed true
the more i stay at home the higher risk i have to get scolded or beaten
hais =(
home not like home
like hell
like prison
like cold palace
sobs ='(

hope tomorrow will be a better day =)

♥RumikoLoves
10:01 PM

Be without you - Mary J. Blige

I wanna be with you, gotta be with you, need to be with you

(Oh, oh, oh, oh)

I wanna be with you, gotta be with you, need to be with you

(Oh, oh, oh, oh)

Oooo (oh, oh, oh, oh) oooo

Chemistry was crazy from the get-go

Neither one of us knew why

We didn't build nothing overnight

Cuz a love like this takes some time

People swore it off as a phase

Said we can't see that

Now from top to bottom

They see that we did that (yes)

It's so true that (yes)

We've been through it (yes)

We got real sh** (yes)

See baby we been...

Too strong for too long (and I can't be without you baby)

And I'll be waiting up until you get home (cuz I can't sleep without you baby)

Anybody who's ever loved, ya know just what I feel

Too hard to fake it, nothing can replace it

Call the radio if you just can't be without your baby

I got a question for ya

See I already know the answer

But still I wanna ask you

Would you lie? (no)

Make me cry? (no)

Do somethin' behind my back and then try to cover it up?

Well, neither would I, baby

My love is only your love (yes)

I'll be faithful (yes)I'm for real (yes)

And with us you'll always know the deal

We've been...

Too strong for too long (and I can't be without you baby)

And I'll be waiting up until you get home (cuz I can't sleep without you baby)

Anybody who's ever loved, ya know just what I feel

Too hard to fake it, nothing can replace it

Call the radio if you just can't be without your baby

See this is real talk

I'm always stay (no matter what)

Good or bad (thick and thin)

Right or wrong (all day everyday)

Now if you're down on love or don't believe

This ain't for you (no, this ain't for you)

And if you got it deep in your heart

And deep down you know that it's true (come on, come on, come on)

Well, let me see you put your hands up (hands up)

Fellas tell your lady she's the one (fellas tell your lady she's the one, oh)

Put your hands up (hands up)

Ladies let him know he's got your love

Look him right in his eyes and tell him

We've been...

Too strong for too long (and I can't be without you baby)

And I'll be waiting up until you get home (cuz I can't sleep without you baby)

Anybody who's ever loved, ya know just what I feel

Too hard to fake it, nothing can replace it

Call the radio if you just can't be without your baby

Heeeeeeeeeeeey

OhhhhhhhhhhhhhHeeeeeeeeeeeey

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh

I wanna be with you, gotta be with you, need to be with you

♥RumikoLoves
1:37 PM

Finally i start to feel the presence of me inside baby's heart le =D
He has started to change for me
Change for the better
Treat me better than before le
Even though is after that incident then like that de
But still im glad =D

I really love you baby
LOVE LOVE LOVE

Whats good about my baby??
Hmm...
He loves me lots and only me
Whatever i want,he will try his best to get it for me
He cares for me and protects me
Doesnt want me to get any harm or suffer
And etc etc etc.......lols!

I WANT BABY PIGGYBACK ME FOREVER!!!
TILL THE END!!!!!!!!!
Whahaha! =D

Ytd went ice skating with baby
Happy to be with him
But sad that i slightly sprain my right wrist when fall from learning my skating brake -.-
Now my wrist rotate to certain angle jiu pain le
Hais =(
Hope it will recover soon
Cause if not,i cant carry heavy stuffs anymore!
Especially i cant play basketball!!!
DIE! ='(

Also went to play pool at night after skating
With baby,his friend(weixiang) and chengyang
I played two games and won both of them
Whahaha =P
But played damn badly cause of my injured wrist
When playing,my hand keep shaking
Hais =(

Oh ya
Finally i defeated my opponent in arcade de initial d
I played so many times but still keep losing to that stupid two fucking girls in the legend
Arghhh
Defeated them ytd finally
Damn happy
But sad again cause next opponent more hard
Its ZACK!
Arghhh!
He's so fast la!
Hais! =(

Hmm
Tml morning going jurong west de new complex de gym with baby and his friend(weixiang)
I asked ahmei along cause i used to going the gym there with her le
She intro me there de =D
But she still not confirm yet =(
Hopefully she can go
Hmm
Then after that going swimming with them at the same complex
So i guess tml's gonna be a damn tiring day
But exercising is GOOD! =D

Oh ya
Took some photos of chloe and abhishek while skating
Hehe ^.^

♥RumikoLoves
12:09 PM

♥Saturday, March 29, 2008

Tattoo - Jordin Sparks

Oh, oh, oh

No matter what you say about love
I keep coming back for more
Keep my hand in the fire
Sooner or later, I'll get what I'm asking for

No matter what you say about life
I learn every time I bleed
That truth is a stranger
Soul is in danger, I gotta let my spirit be free

To admit that I'm wrong
And then change my mind
Sorry but I have to move on
And leave you behind

[Chorus]
I can't waste time so give it a moment
I realize, nothing's broken
No need to worry 'bout everything I've done
Live every second like it was my last one
Don't look back at a new direction
I loved you once, needed protection
You're still a part of everything I do

You're on my heart just like a tattoo
(Just like a tattoo, I'll always have you
I'll always have you, I'll always have you)

I'm sick of playing all of these games
It's not about taking sides
When I looked in the mirror, didn't deliver
It hurt enough to think that I could

Stop, admit that I'm wrong
And then change my mind
Sorry but I gotta be strong
And leave you behind

[Chorus]
(Just like a tattoo, I'll always have youI'll always have you)

[Bridge]
If I live every moment
Won't change any moment
Still a part of me and you
I will never regret you
Still the memory of you
Marks everything I do

[Chorus x2]
Just like a tattooI'll always have you

♥RumikoLoves
11:31 AM

EMO EMO EMO
EMO EMO EMO EMO
EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO
EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO!!!

Hais! =(

Had a damn long day ytd.
Too many things happened in a day.
Till i couldnt take it.
Keep cutting my wrist with a sharp metal.
Wanna use the pain on my wrist to cover up the pain inside my heart.
But to no avail.
The more i cut,the more pain i feel inside my heart.
Hais.
Cry several times ytd too.
Up till now still will feel like crying.
Sobs. ='(

I also stopped my asthma medication for 2days le.
No mood to eat.
Hais. =(

Anyway thanks to those who are there for me ytd.
Especially nic.
He came down to find me immediately when he knows sth happen to me.
Then special thanks to my laogong chanmyat! =)
Even though she's working at her attachment company at that time,when she know sth happen to me,she took the risk and called me immediately.
Im really glad laogong!
Thanks lots laogong!
You are afterall my most precious laogong cum sister throughout these coming 5years! =D
And also weixiang.
Keep trying to console me and stop me from doing foolish stuffs.
Lols.

And also shuaige once again.
Even though he only msg me at night but when he know im not doing well,he tries his best to cheer me up and console me. =)
For the past few years,even theres nothing wrong with me,he will also msg me every now and then to ask me sleep early and takecare.
Im glad i have him too. =D

Oh ya.
Few days back forgot to blog about my driving Basic Theory Test.
I PASSED!
Im SOOO GLAD and HAPPY! =D
The night before i was so nervous.
Im so afraid that i will fail and need to rebook again and wait for another few months for the test to come.
Cause i booked this test in january.
Then february fully booked.
So i only manage to book in march.
But i passed so i dont have to book again and wait!
Hehe! =P
More amazing is that im the first to finish!
Whahaha!
I did my Evaluation Test in 15mins so i expected to finish my BTT in 15mins too and I DID!!! =D
Finally i can start booking for my Final Theory Lessons and Test.
And also start my Practical Trainings. ^.^

♥RumikoLoves
10:56 AM

♥Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Moody moody MOODY!!! =(

Hais!
Damn damn DAMN EMO! ='(

Too many stuffs happened recently.
Many till i couldnt cope with them at all.
Hais.
TROUBLED! =(

Can someone please cheer me up in any way?? =(

Anyway thanks shuaige!
For being there for me and cheer me up in a certain way for the past few days!
You're still always the BEST! =D
Or rather thanks lots for being there for me for the past few YEARS! =)
You're one that will never fail to be there for me whenever i need you!
THANKS! ^.^

As for my darling(wanxin)...
Please cheer up!
And dont think so much!
Look on the bright side and move on!
You know that i'll always be there for you! =D
And please please PLEASE TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF!!!
Arghhh!
If not im gonna knock sense into you!
Hehe! =P

♥RumikoLoves
3:35 PM

♥Monday, March 24, 2008

Damn fucked up now.
Morning 10plus kena woke up by my bro to pei him eat breakfast.
He say eat finish then go back to sleep.
But after that my that fucking dad provoke him and made him angry.
Then he vent it on me.
All of a sudden find blames with me and dont let me go back to sleep anymore.
All the way pei him till now.
Shit ass mother fucker!

I really hate my dad man.
Non stop giving me troubles.
Cause of his stupidity,im the one suffering.
Fuck him!

Im so fucked up la!
With everything!
All opposing me!
Both family and relationship problems!
Idiotic!
Irritating! =(

Somehow i feel like giving up my relationship.
Nothing's going well.
More and more problems.
Ytd then realize im the one who is being over possessive.
I met baby everyday but he didnt say anything.
He seems like wanting to meet me everyday too.
But in the end he said otherwise last night.
So all along it has been one sided.
Ive been so stupid all this while.
Wtf!
And yeah!
Hell right!
Im going to tell myself not to put him as my first priority anymore!
BITCH!

Im really damn depressed now and needed baby by my side but im gonna tell myself HELL NO!
Im not gonna depend on baby anymore!
I dont need him at all!
FUCK!

AFTERALL SINGLE IS STILL THE BEST!
DONT HAVE SO MUCH TROUBLES TO WORRY

♥RumikoLoves
1:23 PM

Today went sentosa with baby,his sis,willy(his sis's bf) and yongxing.
Last night went drinking chivas below block 163 with nic,vincent,qinquan and ryan.
I drank alittle jiu vomit le.
Think cause stomach not good plus i damn long never drink liquor le.
After that went back to nic house and sleep over.
Morning wake up jiu go over baby's house.
Initially in the morning i was very emo.
Even more emo than the past few days.
Cause after what i heard baby told me what his parents said about me,my heart like kena shot by several arrows.
Hais.
Reach sentosa already,i keep lying down suntan.
After that had some fun with baby and yongxing at the sea.
Played alittle of volleyball.
Thats it.

I did cheer up alittle after the sentosa trip.
But when at night,i had a conversation with baby regarding his parents and many other stuffs.
Everything just brought down my better mood to worst mood ever.
Hais.
How i wish i can choose my life,instead of having this sucky one.

"I've already done as much as i can as a girfriend of his!"
"What else more do they expect from me?!"
"I REALLY HOPE TO BE PERFECT BUT NOBODY'S PERFECT!"

Suddenly realized last night is full moon and so beautiful!
Along with the stars around it,makes the perfect match of a wonderful night sky!
Then i immediately msg darling(wanxin) and inform her about it.
Even though she cant see the moon but she can see the stars and they are awesome!
But nic told me that friday's moon is the best one.
I missed it!
Arghhh!
Hais. =(
I simply love stars and moon very much!
Cause no matter where i go,they always stood by me!
And i also believe that my passed away eldest bro is one of the stars up there blessing me all this while.
I can feel his presence somehow but i dont know where he exactly is.
But i know if he's alive,i will love him alot alot!
I can feel it.
Somehow i missed him very much even though i never met him before.

Few weeks ago,i did an online research and found out that there's this restaurant called CHARCOAL.
I was shock.
Didnt realise that singapore has this restaurant name.
That really did laugh my ass out.
Cause people who are close to me should know who i always call CHARCOAL. =D
Then i went to tell charcoal about it.
He's surprised too.
Lols.
Then ytd he suddenly msg me say he saw that restaurant while taking bus home from vivo.
Haha.
Today when i took bus to sentosa and saw it too.
Im really amazed.
Anyway we will go down there eat someday soon.
Cant wait for that day to come. ^_^

♥RumikoLoves
2:57 AM

♥Saturday, March 22, 2008

Stayed home throughout today.
Bored.
Damn bored.
Till now.
Later go bath jiu go batok meet nic le.
Tonight going his house thon.

These few days quite emo.
Especially today.
DAMN EMO! =(
I dont know why.
Keep thinking about my life.
Then my will for living started decreasing.

Started to feel sick and tired of pei-ing my bro.
I wonder how much longer can i tolerate entertaining him.
Ive been keeping all my feelings deep inside my heart since very young.
How much longer can i hold it??
I dont know.
Im afraid when one day i finally burst out,ill be a monster.

Tml going sentosa with baby to suntan.
Hopefully tml ill cheer up.
Cause i always wanted to go there for a long time.
And please dont rain tml.
please dont spoil my day.
PLEASE!

♥RumikoLoves
6:09 PM

♥Friday, March 21, 2008

Today nothing much.
Went to BABY's house throughout.
Slack here and there.
Started my 'drama craze' again today.
Taiwan drama : "Romantic Princess".
Its kinda nice show. =D

At night join BABY and his family for dinner.
This time whole family around.
Dad,mum,sis and him.
Although stressed but it went out smooth.
Ate at westmall koufu.
Luckily i get along well with his sis too.
So everything's still okay. ^.^

LIVE YOUR EVERYDAY LIFE TO THE FULLEST!
LIKE YOU'RE GONNA DIE THE NEXT DAY!

♥RumikoLoves
11:27 PM

Today BABY's dad came back from thailand.
Went dinner with BABY and him.
First time met his dad.
Damn nervous i am.
But in the end i got through.
Im glad that it went quite smoothly. =D
His dad is kinda friendly and funny too.
Especially when he keeps suan-ing BABY.
Haha. =P
His dad treated us BALI THAI at westmall.
Gosh!
He ordered quite alot of dishes and we all cant finish them.
Such a waste.
But cant be blame.
My stomach's bursting already.
Ive already tried to squeeze in as much as i can.
My fats are GROWING!!! =(

All of a sudden.
I realized im like born to be a part-time maid.
At BABY house,i help him tidy up his entire house.
Back home,i wash dishes,fold clothes,wash clothes etc.
Do till late midnight like the timing now.
Ate my medicine just now too.
Then damn drowsy but i tahan to finish my chores.
In the end now having headache. -.-

Everyday make myself so tired with chores.
Think im going insane soon.
But i dont know why.
I just feel that im born to do all these.
Its so call essential to me.
If possible,i really hope to be a housewife in the future.
I wanna take care of my children on my own.
I dont wanna follow my parents foot steps.
Like how they treated my 3 elder brothers.
Then cause my eldest bro to be how he is now.
Hais. =(

Regarding my family problems...

Im not requesting for sympathy

Im requesting for UNDERSTANDING!

Suddenly recalled back then when in bukit view sec.
Theres this bitch that i initially treated her as one of my closest girl friends.
Act so close and good to me infront of me.
But stab me hardly from my back.
Telling people around me that whatever i said about my family is make up story.
And that i have financial problem and all my branded stuffs are bought by my godparents are also lies.
Im like wtf.

But luckily all my friends trusted me.
None believe what she said.
Instead,all came to me and inform me about her backstabbing me.
Lols.
Laugh my ass out man.
Thinking back.
Im so stupid to forgive her twice just cause she wrote letters to me for my forgiveness.
Cause in the end she backstab me again and again.
Hais.

Suay suay.
She falls into the same school as me.
NgeeAnnPoly.
At times saw her at school bus stop.
Usually i pretend that i didnt see her.
But when theres a need,i force myself to give a smile to her.
Gosh!

So whoever it is out there,BE EXTRA CAREFUL WHEN YOU MAKE FRIENDS OUT THERE!
TRUST NO ONE BUT ONLY YOURSELF
CAUSE SOME HUMAN BEINGS ARE JUST BORN TO BE REAL GREAT REALISTIC ACTORS!

♥RumikoLoves
1:44 AM

This post is for my DARLING!!! =D

I LOVE YOU BABE!
AND ALWAYS DO!!

I will always have trust in you!
So dont worry ya?
Hehe. ^.^

Thanks for being there for me when i need you!

I will always be there for you too!
You know that clearly! =D
I'll lend you my listening ears and cosy shoulders whenever you need them!!
I'm just a call away! =D

If you find no reason to move on, THINK OF ME!!!

MUACKSSS~!!!!!!! =P

♥RumikoLoves
1:38 AM

♥Thursday, March 20, 2008

Went for checkup at NUH today.
After hearing what the doctor and nurse say,i feel more depressed than before.
Feel like my life is coming to an end soon.
Hais.
Ya.
They always say it can be prevent.
But the morale of the story is PREVENTION NEEDS MONEY!
It isnt cheap to see doctor and buy medicine frequently.
Its true when people say,YOU CAN DIE BUT NOT FALL SICK

Doctor gave me a more severe asthma medicine to prevent my attacks.
And know what??
Ive got to take that medication for a lifetime.
Im like wtf?!
Gosh man!
I really hate it when the doctor says so.
Hais.
Shit ass to my life man!
Ahhh! =(
My asthma became serious that i keep having chest pains and breathing difficulty.
To the extent that it hurts till my heart can stop beating for a second or two.
I keep wanting to give up to my life.
Hais.
Everything everybody is pressurizing to me.
Mum's problems, eldest bro's problems, my financial problems, my health problems, my future problems, my relationship problems, my BABY's problems, my CHARCOAL's problems, etc etc etc..
Hais.
I think all these are enough to kill me.

And yup.
The future hospital appointments are killing me.
More appointments means more medical fees!
Shit man!
The doctor refer me to a SKIN,EYE and ORTHO specialists.
In total i have another 4 more appointments to go including my next asthma appointment.
Wtf!
And hell right,ive got to do chest x-ray and blow test on my next asthma appointment.
Omg.
Hais. =(

`Its not that i very xiaoqi.
Is that i do love you.
Thats why it matters to me so much when you always tend to mention you with other girls.
If i dont love you,i wont get any jealous about it.
I wont even give a damn shit about it.
And whatever i said that hurt you,you know i didnt mean it.
I really do love you BABY.
WoAiNi!❤

Before you act,think of me.
I know that incident isnt your fault but still you are the one who start the fire.
I want you to know.
打在你脸，痛在我心!
So next time dont anyhow start fire okay??
Its over so stop pursuing that matter le.
Stop creating more troubles.
If not ill be the next injured victim but i dont mind to be one.
And dont worry.
I can guarantee to you that it will confirm recover!
Trust me! =D

♥RumikoLoves
3:30 AM

♥Saturday, March 15, 2008

暴風雨

说尽动人的话语像云河里的星星雪地里拼凑的脚印
怎么找不到你
看着窗外的乌云天空快失去力气　抱不住的雨滴　
悄悄落了一地
不想去猜测　明天我会在哪里　只能用力去记忆每个美好过去
爱就像暴风来袭　说来就来　说去就去
忘不了的伤痛让它沉默在冰天雪地　
爱就像暴风来袭　改变不了　无法继续　望着你天使般的眼睛　说爱你　说我爱你
不懂　为什么　给了我倾盆大雨
在想有一天我会拥有新的生命
　
爱就像暴风来袭　说来就来　说去就去
忘不了的伤痛让它沉默在冰天雪地　
爱就像暴风来袭　改变不了　无法继续　望着你天使般的眼睛　说爱你
你的泪水灌溉我残缺不全的爱情　雨过了一天彩虹会再出现　不再伤心　
爱就像暴风来袭　说来就来　说去就去
忘不了的伤痛让它沉默在冰天雪地　
爱就像暴风来袭　改变不了　无法继续　我爱你　说我爱你
完

胆小鬼

你爱咖啡低调的感觉
偏爱收集的音乐怪的很另类
你很特别每一个小细节
哎呀呀呀如此的对味
我怕浪费情绪的错觉
讨厌自己像刺猬小心的防卫
我很反对为失恋掉眼泪
哎呀呀呀离你远一些
喜欢看你紧紧皱眉叫我胆小鬼
你的表情大过於朋友的暧昧
寂寞的称谓甜蜜的责备
有独一无二专属的特别
喜欢看你紧紧皱眉叫我胆小鬼
我的心情就像和情人在斗嘴
奇怪的直觉错误的定位
对你哎呀呀呀我有点胆怯
我在我的世界不能犯规
你在你的世界笑我无所谓

♥RumikoLoves
5:04 AM

Ahhh!
Daren just told me that going into uni in singapore overall gpa 3.5 & above jiu sure can get in!
2.8 for SIM!
Gosh!
My gpa is lousy like hell la!
Shit ass man!
What should i do??
How to pull up my gpa within my last year????
Omg!
Im going crazy man!
I WANNA GO INTO SIM!!!
I WANNA GET A DEGREE!!!!!!! ='(

If really cant get in then got to go overseas study uni le.
Hais.
Sian. =(

♥RumikoLoves
4:36 AM

♥Friday, March 14, 2008

Got my results today.
Was damn worried ytd.
Cause i dont have any confidence on this exam on passing.
This is the worst exam i had done in my entire life so far.
Hais.
Im so afraid of failing.
Then i have to repeat the module again.
Hais.

But......
I just saw my results.
Even though its very bad but still i manage to pass all.
HENG AH!
*pheww*

But all very jialat nia.
All borderline pass.
All D and D+....
I expected some C or C+.
Hais.
Sian.
I look back and compare my past results.
And hell yeah this is the worst results ive got throughout my past 2 years in poly!
OMG!
Arghhh!
Hais. =(

♥RumikoLoves
12:38 PM

UNTIL THE TIME IS THROUGH - FIVE

Now and forever (untill the time is through)
I can't believe it,
don't know where to start (no baby)
So many questions deep inside my heart
Give me a moment before you go,
there's something you want to know

*
baby now and forever untill the time is through
(untill the time is through)
I'll be standing here
waiting and never give up my faith in you
(give up my faith in you)
Trying to make it clear
without your love I'll be half a man
maybe one day you will understand
now and forever untill the time is through

I'll be waiting

How can I tell you so that you can see
(you know that)
Life has a meaning when you're here with me
(when you are here with me baby)
Give me a moment before you go
there's something you want to know

*
baby now and forever untill the time is through
(untill the time is through)
I'll be standing here
waiting and never give up my faith in you
(give up my faith in you)
Trying to make it clear
without your love I'll be half a man
maybe one day you will understand
now and forever untill the time is through

bridge
There is no one to comfort me
here in my cold reality
I'm searching for words
what can I say
to make you see
(to make you see)

baby now
untill time is through
(untill the time is through)
I'll be here
baby now untill time is through
(give up my faith in you)
I'll be here

*
baby now and forever untill the time is through
(untill the time is through)
I'll be standing here
waiting and never give up my faith in you
(give up my faith in you)
Trying to make it clear
without your love I'll be half a man
maybe one day you will understand
now and forever I'll be here for you
untill the time is through

♥RumikoLoves
12:04 AM

♥Sunday, March 09, 2008

I hate IRRESPONSIBLE people!

Especially those who are IRRESPONSIBLE to their own gfs or family!

I hate people like YOU!!!

I hate myself loving you more than you love me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK MYSELF MAN!!!

♥RumikoLoves
11:09 PM

♥Saturday, March 08, 2008

TODAY

is Our 1st MONTH 1st WEEK 1st DAY!!! =D

I will always love you baby!
Always do! ^.^

BABY x3 DEAR

♥RumikoLoves
11:46 PM

♥Friday, March 07, 2008

- stop comparing me with other girls!

- stop comparing me with your ex-girlfriends!

- stop getting the wrong meaning of my words!

- stop putting the blames on me almost all the time!

- stop complaining on almost all the stuffs i do!

- stop making my meals so miserable!

- stop irritating me with your irritating words!

- stop mistaking my intentions!

- stop making me the one who is always wrong!

- STOP JUDGING ME AND MY FRIENDS!!

STOP STOP STOP!!!

SO MANY STOPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AHHHHH!!!!!!

=(

=(

=(

[[EMO`RUMIKO]]

♥RumikoLoves
3:16 AM