♥Friday, July 18, 2008

I MADE A REALLY STUPID MOTHER FUCKING MISTAKE IN MY LAN THEORY TEST TODAY !!

fuck fuck FUCK !

Arghhh !

Im so damn FUCKED UP with myself !

that particular mistake = whole paper WRONG

FUCK !

after knowing that mistake, i really feel like killing myself ..
the mistake is too stupid already ..

OMG !

AHHH ! :'(

Whats wrong with ME !?!
how can i make such a stupid mistake !?

Hais !
anyway its over ..
i also cant do anything about it le ..
sadded .. :(

Btw ..
Thanks BENNY ! ^^
for treating me lunch the other time ..
for treating me sandwich today in school ..
for tutoring me in the middle of the night yesterday below my block de coffeeshop ..
BUT ! im really SORRY that i disappointed you today !
hais !
you tutor me till so hard but in the end i made such a fucking freaking bloody stupid MISTAKE !
IM SORRY BENNY ! REALLY SORRY ! :(

Had a damn sucky day today !
DAMN MOODY ! :(

wanted to watch movie(red cliff) before going home at night de ..
but no company ..
so i went home early ..

had quite a short talk with baby when he called tonight
same as yesterday
he has been delayed
but he sound better to me ..
better than yesterday i guess
and im glad about it :)

i just want baby to be happy .. thats all i wish for ..
[ blinded by love ]

baby say he might book out early this week
which means rather than booking out on saturday morning ..
he MAYBE can book out tml night

im really happy to hear that from him
cause i cant wait to see him !
but ..
im having problem finding excuses for me to stay out again
to stay at his house pei him
hais ! sian ! :(

` Waiting For You `

♥RumikoLoves
2:13 AM

♥Thursday, July 17, 2008

LITERALLY ..

ive been indirectly insulted by my LAN lecturer in class today ..
cause he was the one who debar me
he was like smiling to me say .. dont tell me you are going to use the same old reason to appeal and think that you can make it through this time ?
MOTHER FUCKER !
SHIT HIM LA !
WHO HE IS TO SAY STUFFS LIKE THIS TO ME !?
HE DONT EVEN KNOW AND UNDERSTAND MY FAMILY SITUATION !
FUCK !

i really felt hurtful
but didnt told anyone about it
was thinking that maybe can confide to baby when he calls tonight
and i might feel better but in the end .. I DIDNT TOLD HIM ABOUT IT

cause hes in a damn fucked up mood already
i dont wish to add on his burden
hais :(
so in the end i kept everything to myself and my blog
blogging = letting out my thoughts and feelings

today baby called at a damn late time
initially i thought he wouldnt call already
called his mum ask whether baby got call her, she say never
was damn worried about him
was damn afraid that sth might happen to him
but everyone was like .. dont worry so much la ! everything's gonna be fine !
i know ! but i just cant help worrying !
hais :(

then suddenly his call came and i was SOOO GLAD AND HAPPY
but baby doesnt sound alright
hes having a bad day inside today
thats why hes in a fucked up mood
and of course it deeply influenced me and here comes EMO
started feeling moody

whenever i console baby regarding army ..
he always says .. you say till very easy what ! you enjoying outside, i suffering inside !
hais !
but he never understands that when hes suffering inside, IM SUFFERING TOO !!
i dont even have the appetite to eat !
i find myself damn USELESS !
i blame myself for being USELESS !
CAUSE I CANT EVEN DO ANYTHING TO HELP MY BABY !
i felt so damn GUILTY la !! :(
"many times ive told you .. if i can go army for you, i would love to ! i really mean it ! i rather be the one suffering inside than you ! but the problem is I CANT ! im not MULAN !"
HAIS ! :(

Found all these photos inside my hp .. taken long time ago ..

baby with our beloved child POOH POOH ! ^^

EMO POOH POOH ! :(

we belong together ! x33

ME LOVE ! xD

` Waiting For You `

♥RumikoLoves
2:54 AM

♥Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Got debarment letter from school once again
hais !
sian ! :(
reason = i also dont know .. think cause low attendance ba .. but is the stupid mother fucking lecturer keep marking me absent when im just late ! its not like i didnt go ! dude ! =.=

This afternoon rushed down Taka Recruit Express for interview
they offered me a job working at Singapore Flyer (Ferris Wheel)
take photos de ..
$6 - $6.50 per hour
flexible working hours .. one week one day also can .. anything de
shift is 6pm to 10pm or 11pm
not bad right ?

but still got to go through the interview by the Singapore Flyer
they will then confirm whether they choose you anot
Pray to God they will choose ME ! :P

Went baby house after the interview
bought some food to his house eat
Tori-Q and TakoPachi = My Meal for the Day :)
had a short one hour nap
then started rushing my project report
and hell right ! i havent finish doing !
Gosh ! Die already !
2nd day late submission = 20% of marks deducted
*faint*

actually im mentally prepared that i will have to retain and repeat this stupid IHP module
FUCK ! :(

Today didnt talk with baby on phone for long
cause his army activities delayed
so eat into his free time
arghhh !

but i had a great short talk with him !
waiting for you back on saturday morning baby !
I LOVE YOU ! ^^

shuaige also got msg me ytd night and tonight
he at tekong for ns now ..
pray to god that he'll be alright !
was damn worried about him ! :(
but always all he will say to me is "YOU TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF CAN LE .. SLEEP EARLY .. NO NEED WORRY ABOUT ME .. I'LL BE ALRIGHT"
=.=
the usual 'him' .. always keep stuffs from me preventing me from worrying

Pictures of Today ..

our child POOH POOH with baby's new billabong cap .. KAWAII ? :P

Pictures of Yesterday ..

blur sotong no. 1 !

blur sotong no. 2 !

RECOGNISED blur sotong no. 3 !! :P

blur sotong at east coast ..

` Waiting For You `

♥RumikoLoves
2:39 AM

♥Tuesday, July 15, 2008

BASICALLY ..

today ..
met Akira and AndrewKor at JE
went East Coast
cause Kor wanna check out his roller blade stuffs and his birthday chalet
which will be held on 16th august ..

then went mac there rush my project report
after that i went home and Akira going over Kor's house ..
im sad that i cant join them
CURFEW SUCK ! :(

GOSH !
my project report is due today at 12pm and i didnt submit in !
late submission one day = deduct 10% of marks !
FUCK !
reason for late : I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO !
SCHOOL SUCK ! :(

actually im mentally prepared that i will fail my IHP(In-House Project)
but since theres still a dim of hope, WHY NOT GIVE IT A TRY ?
am i right ?

i just cant make myself fail my LAN(Local Area Network)
cause ive failed once already
now repeating
if fail again = expel from school
SIBEI JIALAT ! :(

Got my blood test report ..
states NORMAL

Going for X-Ray at JE soon ..
for my injured left thumb
done by : Akira

Recently got involved with Monsoon Academy Hair Show
will be held on 1st August at Zouk
whoever free, drop by
Thanks ! :)
effort will be appreciated ..

Bad news = baby booking out on Saturday morning this week
instead of Friday night
SIAN-ZATION

Relationship wise ..
still can manage within my will
trying hard to pull it through with baby
YOU'RE THE REASON WHY IM HERE ^^

` Nerdy Akira

AhPek Kor :x

Interested in robbing Kor ? hehehe .. :P

Shoe Handphone really exist ? hahaha .. :D

This is the reason why SPCA exist ! :(

` Waiting For You `

♥RumikoLoves
1:57 AM

♥Monday, July 07, 2008

Last night got beaten by my bro
hais
several times on the right side of my face
sobs :'(

The reason why i got beaten ?
cause i didnt call home and inform him what time ill be back home

My reason ..
im too busy to bother so many stuffs
and they also cant be bothered to give me a call and ASK !
hais ! :(

Vent his anger on me only !
arghhh !

My Children, Joey and Baby Pooh ! Siblings ! Younger Sister and Elder Brother ! ^^

Pooh Pooh with Baby's army cap ! She's one overgrown fat daughter of mine ! :P

Baby Pooh with My Ice Skating Idol, JACKSON !!! :D

My new child, JOEY ! ^^ .. gift from baby .. MY PRECIOUS x33

My BeLOVEd Necklace ! ^^ .. gift from baby .. MY TREASURE x33

Baby's coming back earlier this week !
im so so SO HAPPY !!! :D
3more days to GOOO !
Thursday afternoon jiu can see him le !
Weee .. !! ^^

` Waiting For You `

♥RumikoLoves
7:45 PM

♥Friday, July 04, 2008

BORING !

STRANGLE ME WITH YOUR LOVE BABY ! ^^

I LOOK LIKE A RETARD !

LOVE ME FOREVER WILL YOU BABY ?

I CLOSE MY EYES FROM THIS CRUEL WORLD

I SMILE BECAUSE IM BEING LOVED BY HIM ! ^^

` Waiting For You `

♥RumikoLoves
3:42 AM

♥Thursday, July 03, 2008

Dropped by clementi to godparents porridge stall eat today
then godbro send me over to their house
after so many times of rides on his car ..
today then i know all along im riding on a Mitsubishi Lancer !
Gosh !
how SOTONG can i be ??

and know what ?
I LOVE THAT CAR !
BEFORE i had a taste of it,i already liked it ..
AFTER i had a taste of it,i simple love it ! xD

Went up to their house
to visit my husband
long time never see him le ! :(
he's Mr XIAOBAI !! ^^

We just simply have the bonding between us !
even though we seldom see each other ..
once we met,we're like being together for years !! :D

Oh ya ..
today i bought quite alot stuffs from jp
wanna give baby surprises when he comes back this friday
cause we didnt manage to celebrate our 5th month
so yup
i really hope he will like those surprises i have for him ! ^^

i love you baby ! x33

` Waiting For You `

♥RumikoLoves
3:35 AM

♥Wednesday, July 02, 2008

The Loneliliest Anniversary I Ever Had ! :(

Throughout all my past relationships ..
ive never ever spent any anniversary alone

this is my very first time to experience it
and know what ??
IT SUCK !

I exactly have no mood to do anything
not even to feed myself
the feeling is like LIFE IS BORING ..
CAN SOMEONE KILL ME RATHER THAN LET ME SUFFER THIS KIND OF LONELINESS !?!
Gosh !
lied on baby's bed..felt like sleeping and never wake up again
hais :(

` i need you baby `

I PRAY TO GOD THAT BABY IS EXEMPTED FROM GOING TEKONG !!
I'LL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE IT HAPPEN !!!
GOD PLEASE !
I REALLY CANT BEAR MY BABY TO GO THERE !
ITS TOO DANGEROUS ALREADY !!!!!!!!
sobs ! :'(

♥RumikoLoves
3:01 AM

♥Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Today's Our 5th Month Anniversary

and im CRYING! :'(

Gosh!

Whats wrong with me!?!

im not angry that baby cant celebrate with me

but im just damn upset after looking through his friendster profile

alot stuffs came into my mind

suddenly felt that his heart isnt fully with me

partially still with someone else

someone who he loved in the past

hais :(

afterall that person meant more to him

and i cant replace her place in his heart

` Heartbroken `
` Disappointed `

♥RumikoLoves
3:12 PM

Restless and Sleepless Nights....

cause of CRYING OVER HIM

cause of WORRYING HIM

cause of HIM not meaning whatever HE SAID

cause HE'S NOT A MAN OF HIS WORDS

Im falling sick
getting worse as each day passed..

DO I STILL HAVE THE MENTALITY AND WILL TO TOLERATE HIM ANY LONGER??

IM SICK AND TIRED OF EVERYTHING! :'(

♥RumikoLoves
3:25 AM

Suddenly..

ive got a feeling that we wont last

cause i dont know how much longer i can tolerate

Honestly..

i dont think i deserve this kind of treatment from you

at least alittle better than THIS

LOVE REALLY HURTS BIG TIMES

Sometimes i really dont know whether its better to be in love or NOT TO BE

I'll go CRAZY someday if EVERYTHING CONTINUES THIS WAY.....

♥RumikoLoves
3:00 AM